Hating your own work

Hating your own work is normal as an artist.

Don’t get me wrong. Not always. Although it can feel that way especially in the early skill development stage.

To be honest, I didn’t really start to consistently like my work until the last couple years. And I’ve been doing art my entire life. (I’m old FYI)

That’s a lot of hating myself.

So what changed?

One big change was my measurement of “success”. It was no longer tied to the results of my work, i.e the “finished product”. Instead, the act of doing the work itself became my success. Putting my work out to be seen, despite my feelings on it, became my success.

There’s a lot to like about this piece. It looks good. It has a cool 90’s retro vibe. The client is happy. I definitely put my best effort in. But for whatever reason it feels lacking in some way to me.

There are many factors that could be contributing to this. Am I just moody? Depression is no stranger to me. Maybe I could’ve done a better pose? Maybe the colors are too saturated? Maybe I could’ve put more details into the background? I honestly don’t know.

But guess how much that matters?

Zero.

I put in the work, and it served the client, and there will be hundreds or maybe thousands of people that will enjoy it just as it is, even if I don’t.

And that’s enough for me.

Not every piece is going to be a personal home run. Not every piece is going to top the last. Not every piece is going to resonate with me the same as my favorite pieces do.

I work to master. And from that work all other concerns are conquered.

Skills will grow. Supporters will increase. Brand will expand. Clients will come. Money will come. And so on…

So maybe this one didn’t hit the spot, but today is a new day, and the work beckons me to succeed again.

I wonder what’s next?