Detach from results. Attach to effort.

Detach yourself from results. Attach yourself to effort.

For most of my life I’ve had this nagging need to “be right”. Often at the expense of my well being.

When I was going through my divorce 20 years ago, it was devastating. I didn’t want the divorce and I wanted to win her back.

I would do something I thought was worthy of her return, and when it wouldn’t happen I would get depressed, angry, and frustrated. That cycle happened many times over a period of many months.

It didn’t take long for me to recognize that it was my unreasonable expectations of myself and her that was causing my excessive misery. So I had to change my thought process.

“Whether she comes back to me or not, I WILL use this to make me a better man.”

It became a no-lose approach. The best chance I had to get her back was to become the best man I could. And the best man I could be would be strong, independent, capable, loving, patient, kind, and understanding.

Trying to control her was only going to push her away. Trying to manipulate her opinion of me was not sustainable. Trying to force connection would only sever it.

And whether she came back to me or not, I would eventually embody a man that would attract the kind of woman I knew I deserved. Which is ultimately what occurred when I met my wife and partner now of 11+ years.

I didn’t realize it back then, but I was laying the groundwork for my art and my entire approach to life.

Expectation of results for our efforts diminishes the joy of the effort itself.

We cannot control many things beyond our effort. We can’t control people’s perception of us, of the work, or our intentions.

What I KNOW without a doubt is I work with my best effort to grow as a man, a person, and an artist, relentlessly. I try every day to get better and support myself, my partner, and those that follow me.

I may have failed today. I may have made a mistake here or there. I may screw up. But I will accept and learn from that. I will be patient with my growth. I will be grateful for those that appreciate my work. And I will do what I can to spread love and wisdom and knowledge to those that might need it.

I’m trying.

And that’s ALL that matters.