You have to be a little crazy

Doing this life will certainly make you feel insane at times. You’ll believe in yourself enough to keep pushing, but there are so many others that won’t that the consideration of your lack of mental stability will be inevitable.

I don’t have the answer for this for you. I know I struggled for a long time. I guess I had just enough successes to keep me coming back?

I did get burned out around 2017 and there was a period of 4-5 years where I had switched over to delivery driving full time. DoorDash, Postmates, etc.

The instant, easy cash was such a wonderful relief at the time. Not having to beg for someone to spend $100 on a 20 hour piece of art was nice. Knowing money was going to be in my pocket every day was nice.

It taught me an awesome lesson. Living as an artist had created a beggars mentality. I was in survival mode for over a decade. I racked up debt and borrowed from everyone I knew to the point where I know when they saw my number come up on their phone they were hesitant to answer.

We moved and driving was my only source of income. It was expensive here and I was doing 90-100+ hour weeks for over a year. But it taught me patience. Perseverance. How to stick with one thing and one thing only until you dig yourself out of the hole. How to grind like never before. How to trust in myself.

That was the missing piece in my career. Building it on the side. Having a gig that didn’t drain me completely.

After 4 years I started drawing every morning for 30 min every day… it was the priority even though it wasn’t the majority of my day.

But I stayed patient. I stayed consistent. I persisted.

I don’t feel crazy anymore.